I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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