I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
