Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
