you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
