hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
