3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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