we have pet lesbian snakes
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize