we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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