im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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