I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
