Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
