I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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