hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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