I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize