This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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