He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
