you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
