I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
