We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
