i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize