Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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