at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
