Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
