Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
