When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
