guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
