im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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