If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
