So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Too much gin, very little bucket
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Randomize