I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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