Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
