My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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