he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
420 ftw
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
