I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
