Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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