The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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