You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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