It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Someone came in the potted fern
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
