i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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