Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
