His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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