Already got asked if we're dating
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
