there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
