her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
