One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
