Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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