By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
