he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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