I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
