I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
