I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He has the fingertips of a God
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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