just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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