Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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