we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
