Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
