she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
