I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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