I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
