i can't believe i had my finger in that
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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