would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
