I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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