Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
